you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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