Your face is a jimmy john
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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