I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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