So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize