I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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