I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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