I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
