Your face is a jimmy john
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize