I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
