Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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