its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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