He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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