Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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