38 yer olds are good kisserssss
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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