no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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