I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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