We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
