Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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