Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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