I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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