Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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