Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
