the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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