as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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