U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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