it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize