I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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