you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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