Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
