my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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