If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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