I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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