i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
