Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
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" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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