yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
