well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
