we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I got inside last night via doggy door
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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