They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
