Only a mothe r could love this liver
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
