my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
