im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
