He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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