Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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