i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
