So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
