doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
