im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
