I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We had to coat check the pizza.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
