i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i out mim tonsoeep
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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