i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
