Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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