i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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