my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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