Can i not drive my cunt home
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
