I'm gonna have a badass scar
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
