someone threw a dead crab at me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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