I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
