That's intense
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
