so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
