fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
