I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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